Creating a failure résumé helps you reframe setbacks, process disappointment, and recognise personal growth. A compassionate guide to learning from what didn’t work out.

Have you heard about creating a failure résumé? It’s your list of things that didn’t work out. It’s jobs you didn't get, the business that folded, the relationships that ended, the creative project that never saw daylight, the leaps of faith that landed you on your face, and the ideas that didn’t stick.

This is not to remind yourself how bad or sad life once was. And it’s also not a conventional new year, fresh start for Quarter 1 activity. Your failure résumé is a compilation of your missteps, rejections, and detours – it shows the steps between the highlights on your CV. The almost moments. The uncomfortable moments. The part of the film where everything fell to pieces. The part of the book that made you want to close it or skip ahead.

But what happens next in the film or book?

The main character stops letting shame and fear continue narrating their story as they reclaim their power. They realise that each of the failures taught them intangible skills, like resilience, courage, humility, discernment, compassion and emotional literacy. They begin to back themselves. They see the times they fell and stood up again, learn their recovery patterns – they trust themselves.

And by knowing what it is to fail and come back, often makes them a kinder human and leader.

Creating your failure résumé honours your capacity to learn and your courage to try. By the end of it, you may hear the rising symphonic music playing on the soundtrack of your life. At the very least, it can’t hurt to remember how you picked yourself up, who supported you, and the synchronicities’ that were at play.

you have an opportunity here note with coffee

The Wholesome Benefits of a Creating a Failure Résumé

We can take this further by looking at how reframing setbacks and finding wisdom in failures, ultimately benefiting your mind, body, and soul.

For the mind (self-development)

A healthy mindset is one of the most important things you can have in life. One of the ways to support a growth mindset is by engaging in analysis over avoidance.

Focusing on what you learned in the failing reframes how you think of these experiences. And these data points of learning opportunities might recur in themes that can help you identify areas for skill development improvement or even notice signs when similar future situations arise.

You're also learning about yourself, improving your self-awareness: strengths, weaknesses, decision-making and problem-solving processes. You’re becoming wiser.

For the body (self-care)

A reason why journaling is encouraged by so many mental health professionals is because writing things down is an act of release, both mentally and physically.

You may be unknowingly carrying the weight of these past failures or regrets, which constantly drains your nervous system. As you acknowledge the effort and lessons, you're creating mental space for peace and other good things, releasing the emotional hold and linked thoughts and beliefs of self-doubt and negative self-talk.

When you remember how much you have overcome, let this build your confidence and see your inner strength.

For the soul (spirituality)

Your failure résumé becomes a testament to your resilience and adaptability, and your courage in this human experience. Let this process deepen your self-compassion and acceptance. Each of these different (often better) and unexpected paths taken can be signposted with gratitude.

Being human can be hard, especially because the greatest personal growth comes from outside your comfort zone, where failure is most likely because you're trying new things.

Spiritual growth is also often fertilised with your toughest experiences. By writing this résumé, you may even begin to find deeper meaning and purpose in your journey.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

let your past make you better, not bitter note with coffee

How to Create Your Failure Résumé

This is just a conversation with yourself, about understanding and not judging. Keep the tone calm, supportive, and comfortable.

Get a notebook, have your cup of tea, play some instrumental music, light a candle.

Decide how you want to structure it

Do this in a way that feels natural, be it in categories (career setbacks, relationship lessons), across a timeline, a mind map linking setbacks, or a stream-of-consciousness list.

You can do it once or messily record and then refine it afterwards.

If you feel like you have many failures and already feel overwhelmed, do this process multiple times on different days, with each session focussing on a different life category.

List the things that didn’t work out

Write down the big and small, because if it lingered with you to come up while doing this, it belongs here.

You can include:

Jobs, promotions, or courses you didn’t get
Business ideas that didn’t take off or businesses that failed
Creative projects that stalled or never launched
Academic setbacks (failed tests, dropped classes)
Relationships or friendships that ended
Moves you planned but never made
Ideas you were excited about that didn’t take off
Goals you kept setting and didn’t achieve
Times you took risks that didn’t pay off
Moments of regret or embarrassment

Reflect on each one

For each entry, briefly describe what you hoped for, what actually happened, how you felt at the time, what the immediate result or outcome was.

Then try to answer a few of these questions (only if they resonate):

What did this experience teach me?
What skills or strengths did I build here?
How did this shape the choices I made later?
What did I learn about what I do and don’t want?
What did this reveal about my values?
How did this contribute to my personal growth, spiritual growth, resilience, self-awareness?

Keep your language kind. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a close friend.

Look for any patterns and themes

Read through everything you’ve written. Do you notice any recurring patterns or themes?

Are there recurrent situations where you weren’t offered a promotion, or were overlooked for a new job, lost relationships because your skills were lacking (leadership, time management, language, communication)?
Are there themes of persistence, creativity, adaptability, or self-trust?
Are there moments where a door closing redirected you somewhere unexpectedly meaningful?

Close with compassion

End your failure résumé by writing a kind note to yourself. It can be as simple as:

I’m proud of myself for trying
I did the best I could with what I knew then
These experiences shaped who I am becoming

It can be as creative as a poem to yourself, as long as a speech in honour of yourself. This step matters more than it seems, so please don’t skip it.

Entry examples

Under Career Setbacks you may have failed business attempts:

Failed Attempt: Launching a Hand-Crafted Jewellery Etsy Shop (2018)

My Hopes: Earn money by spending my days doing something I love (monetising a hobby). Quit my corporate job.
Situation: Spent months creating unique pieces, built a website, but struggled with marketing and ultimately made very few sales.
Feelings: Disappointment, frustration, self-doubt.
Initial Outcome: Closed the shop after 8 months. Lost money.
Lesson/Insight: Learned that creation isn't enough; effective marketing and understanding your niche are crucial. Also discovered I loved the creative process more than the business management.
How I Grew: Developed basic digital marketing skills, realised my passion was more about the art itself and less about commercialising it, leading me to seek creative outlets that weren't tied to income (self-awareness). Gained resilience in facing initial business challenges.

Failed Attempt: Long-Distance Friendship That Faded (2019-2020)

My Hopes: Maintain a close friendship after my best friend moved abroad. Stay connected despite the distance and time zones.
Situation: We video-called weekly at first, but gradually the calls became monthly, then sporadic. Conversations felt forced. Eventually we stopped reaching out altogether.
Feelings: Guilt, sadness, a sense of personal failure - like I wasn't a good enough friend to make it work.
Initial Outcome: The friendship naturally drifted apart. We still follow each other on social media but rarely interact.
Lesson/Insight: Learned that some relationships are meant for specific seasons of life, and that doesn't diminish their value. Distance changes dynamics in ways that aren't anyone's fault. Trying to force connection can feel worse than accepting natural evolution. Also, not closing the door on the friendship, because life is life.
How I Grew: Developed greater acceptance about the impermanence of some relationships. Became more intentional about nurturing the friendships I can maintain. Learned to appreciate what that friendship gave me during the years it was strong, rather than mourning what it became. Gained compassion for the reality that people grow in different directions.

If you’re in a season where things aren’t working out the way you hoped, creating a failure résumé can be grounding. It reminds you that this moment is not the whole story. You’ve survived every bad day with resilience, courage, and humility.

Your current CV is evidence of awards, achievements, and accolades you received with hard work. Your failure résumé is proof of your bravery. Every entry represents a moment when you put yourself out there, when you reached for something beyond your comfort zone, when you said yes, I'll give that a go despite not knowing how it would turn out.

You can revisit it every six months or year and update it. Keep looking at your light and your shadow, your triumphs and your tries.

Sometimes the path not taken still teaches us exactly what we needed to know. Sometimes the failures make the successes so much deeper and more meaningful.

What failure taught you the most about yourself? I'd love to hear about your own experiences with setbacks and resilience in the comments below. Let's normalise the beautiful messiness of growth together.

Affirmation: I honour the courage it took to try, and I trust the wisdom I gained along the way

To-do: Set aside 30 quiet minutes this week to begin your failure résumé.

Journal Prompts: Looking back, what did this experience teach me about myself that success never could?

Connect with Spirited Earthling on your favourite social platforms and say hello 🌻

Resources for mind, body, and soul growth available in the Shop🌿

Why You Should Create a Failure Résumé to Better Understand Yourself