Mother's Day isn't always simple. This heartfelt post offers a gentle space for all feelings: love, loss, strained ties, longing, and gratitude. Find comfort and validation, no matter your experience.

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Mother’s Day sees the shops bursting with blooms, cards adorned with heartfelt messages, and social media feeds become a glorious testament to the wonderful women we call mother. You see, "mother" is a word that carries a universe of meaning, and our experiences with it are as varied as the patterns on a vintage tea set.

For many, the patterns tell stories of genuine celebration of the unwavering love, tireless support, and endless cups of tea (or maybe something a bit stronger!) that their mothers have poured into their lives. For others, the patterns tell more complicated stories of mother’s passed on, the complexities of strained relationships, and unending longing.

There is space for all feelings and every beautiful heart on Mother’s Day. And there can be gratitude found in these different relationships. Gratitude doesn’t demand perfection, and it doesn’t need to be shared beyond your thoughts unless you want to.

mother and daughter hugging after daughter gives mum flowers

Celebrating the Gift of a Loving Mother

Having a mother who is a constant source of comfort and strength and a true north in your life is a true gift. To have someone you can always turn to and trust to have your best interests at heart is a form of non-monetary wealth. These bonds, easy laughs, reassuring hugs, and knowing glances that say more than a thousand words deserve to be celebrated with enthusiasm! Cherish this relationship, hold it close, and honour it as often as possible. Give thanks for your loving mother:

I am grateful for my loving mother, who always supports me.
Thank you for being my rock, my guide, and my biggest cheerleader.
I am so blessed to have a mother who loves me so deeply.
Thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve made. I appreciate you more than words can say.

As many hearts swell with joy on Mother's Day, for others, the day can bring a profound sense of loss. We now turn to acknowledge those who navigate this day with the absence of their mother weighing heavily.

Accepting Absences on Mother’s Day

There is always space for grief and hurt. And this is said with gentleness: Happiness and grief can coexist through gratitude. Gratitude isn’t about erasing pain and trauma. It’s about being thankful for where you are now, knowing what you know now, and doing better because of it.

For the ones whose mother or the person who filled that maternal role in their life is no longer with us, leaving a quiet ache in their heart:

Thank you for the legacy of love she left behind; I carry it forward in my heart every day.
I am grateful for every moment, lesson, and ounce of love my mother gave me – she lives on in me.
I honour her by living fully, loving fiercely, and cherishing the time we had.
Thank you for showing me that grief is just love with nowhere to go. So, I’ll let it flow through me gently.

For those who never knew their mother, or remember fleeting moments of care, the feelings on this day can be complicated. Look for the good to celebrate this day:

I am grateful for my courage to mother myself with the love I deserved but didn’t receive.
I honour my journey: for nurturing myself, re-parenting my heart, and still choosing love.
I am grateful for the love I’ve known, the love I’ve created, and the love that still finds its way to me.

As there are aching hearts accepting absences on Mother’s Day, there are others who seek more space from their mothers. We now acknowledge the hearts of those who deal with this day with emotions as complicated as their relationship with their mother.

Interesting reads: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents and Reparenting Your Wounded Inner Child: Explore Childhood and Generational Trauma to Break Destructive Patterns, Build Emotional Strength, and Achieve Personal Growth with 7 Empowering Steps

Holding Space for Strained Ties

Sometimes strained ties involve their own feelings of grief and loss. This day doesn’t demand reconciliation. If distance is best, honour that. Accepting that your mother couldn’t be who you needed may hurt, but it can also be freeing. It’s okay to feel thankful for a mother who tried her best, even if her best wasn’t enough:

I am grateful for my courage to break cycles and love in ways I never knew were possible.
I am grateful for the strength to fill the gaps with my own kindness and resilience.
Thank you for the boundaries that keep me sane, and my heart protected.
Thank you for the lessons. I’m grateful for the distance.

Beyond our direct experiences with our own mothers, Mother's Day also holds a unique significance for the beautiful hearts who carry motherhood as a deep wish.

Interesting reads: Inner Child Healing: How to Recognize Childhood Trauma and Heal Your Inner Child by Reparenting Yourself and Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Daily Practices to Honor Your Emotions and Live with Confidence

For the Women Who Mother in Their Hearts

And to the women who carry motherhood in their hearts but not in their arms, this day is for you too. The ones who’ve felt the quiet agony of a due date that never comes, the numerous negative tests, the treatments that didn’t take. The ones who mother lost babies, future dreams, or the children they’ll never meet. Your love is no less real because it lives in silence.

If Mother’s Day sharpens your grief every year, try creating a ritual around it:

Name what you’ve lost or yet to know. Light a candle, write a letter, or wear a hidden token (a pebble in your pocket, a charm on a bracelet). You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Name what you’ve learned. Maybe it’s a fiercer compassion, a deeper love for your body despite its betrayals, or the way you ‘mother’ the world through kindness.
Reclaim the day. Skip the brunches if they sting. Instead, walk in nature (where life blooms wildly, without rules) or spend time with someone who sees your heart.

You don’t have to be ‘over it’ to be whole. And if today hurts? Let it. You’re allowed to mourn what might have been and admire at the love you still have to give. However this chapter ends, your love always and already matters.

Mothering Beyond Biology

A maternal figure doesn’t need to have any biological relation. It’s important to honour a stepmum who stepped in, a teacher who mothered you, or a friend’s mom who cared for you on Mother’s Day. Maybe ‘mother’ to you is a chosen elder, a mentor, or even a community that raised you.

On this day, it’s okay to celebrate the ways you’ve mothered yourself, friends, or even pets. Love isn’t confined to biology and love defies labels - it’s a verb, and you’re living it.

There is Space for All Feelings

It takes courage to navigate complex emotions, especially when the world around you seems to be awash in a singular narrative of uncomplicated joy. It's alright if your Mother's Day looks different. It's alright if your feelings are a mix of love, longing, sadness, or even a bit of frustration. These feelings are valid. They are real. And they deserve to be acknowledged.

This Mother's Day, perhaps the most loving thing we can do is to extend a little extra compassion, both to ourselves and to others. Joy and grief can coexist. Someone else’s happy memories don’t invalidate your pain, and your healing doesn’t diminish their celebration. So, for those of you who are celebrating a wonderful mum, do so with all your heart! Shower her with love and appreciation. For those with grief and longing, know there are others holding space for the quiet grief, the unspoken tensions, and the hopes that are still blossoming.

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day to:

Those who are treated with breakfast in bed and mushy cards
Those who reach out to a nurturing figure in your life – a grandmother, an aunt, a friend’s mom
Those who are simply being gentle with themselves, allowing the day to pass without forcing a smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes
Those who are hoping and still trying with patience and resilience (a kind of mothering in and of itself)

Love isn’t measured by titles or timelines. It’s in the care you’ve given, the cycles you’ve broken, and the way you tend to the world or your own tender heart. However you mother, however you love, this day can be for you too.

Affirmation: My capacity to mother (myself, others, or the world) is enough, exactly as it is.

To-do: Choose one small act of kindness today, for someone else or yourself.

Text a mother figure who shaped you.
Light a candle for what’s lost or hoped for.
Write a love note to your inner child.

Journal Prompts: What does ‘mother’ mean to me today?

If it brings joy: What memories or qualities do I cherish most?
If it brings pain: What do I need to forgive, grieve, or reclaim?
If it’s complicated: How can I hold space for both gratitude and hurt?

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A Gentle Hug for Every Beautiful Heart This Mother's Day